Heather's Song

Fleeting was your life my dearest one.
Darkness and light in one flickering candle.
A spark, a brilliant flash; it was done.

Your smile was so very beguiling,
Your eyes as blue as a cold mountain lake in spring,
Golden hair soft as an angle's wing.

In the midst of poverty you were born to shine,
A gift of smiles, hugs, giggles and song,
A little girl so badly wanting to belong,
With so few to play with, you had a right to whine.

Fleeting was your life my dearest one.
Darkness and light in one flickering candle.
A spark, a brilliant flash; it was done.

Your smile was so very beguiling,
Your eyes as blue as a cold mountain lake in spring,
Golden hair soft as an angel's wing.

Out of a vast array of music and lyrics
Somehow you managed to find your voice,
And exerted your freedom of choice,
With a rebel heart, to defy and taunt critics.

Fleeting was your life my dearest one.
Darkness and light in one flickering candle.
A spark, a brilliant flash; it was done.

Your smile was so very beguiling,
Your eyes as blue as a cold mountain lake in spring,
Golden hair soft as an angel's wing.

You were an instrument of the Lord God Almighty,
To teach patience with your obstinance,
To reflect our own darkest substance,
And test our true hearts' constancy.

Fleeting was your life my dearest one.
Darkness and light in one flickering candle.
A spark, a brilliant flash; it was done.

Your smile was so very beguiling,
Your eyes as blue as a cold mountain lake in spring,
Golden hair soft as an angel's wing.

That same Lord blessed you with many gifts.
Beauty of the fairest and a voice angelic,
Boldness, laughter and all artistic,
But one by one they were lost in your tragic rifts.

Fleeting was your life my dearest one.
Darkness and light in one flickering candle.
A spark, a brilliant flash; it was done.

Your smile was so very beguiling,
Your eyes as blue as a cold mountain lake in spring,
Golden hair soft as an angel's wing.

Your affliction empowered your bitterness,
Your bitterness fueled your anger,
How could you not become bipolar
As they battled with your happiness and sweetness.

Fleeting was your life my dearest one.
Darkness and light in one flickering candle.
A spark, a brilliant flash; it was done.

Your smile was so very beguiling,
Your eyes as blue as a cold mountain lake in spring,
Golden hair soft as an angel's wing.

Do not despair rescuer of homeless urchins,
Lover of stray dogs and rag dolls,
Seeker and friend to the worlds oddballs,
In the darkest, hopeless night His Son's light glistens.

Everlasting life for you dearest one.
The Son's glory with you a light eternal.
A spark, a brilliant flash; it is done.

Your smile is so very beguiling,
Your eyes as blue as a cold mountain lake in spring,
Golden hair soft as Your angel wings.

By Lori Dawn Vidak


In loving memory of my little sister.
November 22, 2014

Bummer

     Another story. I had written another short story for this blog. I saved it, five times as I wrote, to be sure that I wouldn't lose it. I was pleased with the tale. I was eager to share it. I hit the publish button. I hit preview--the preview would not open. I hit publish again. Preview--no preview. I hit save. I hit publish. I hit preview. No preview. I closed the blog, reopened my blog. My post wasn't there. I went into the control panel. It showed my post to be saved as draft. I opened the draft---Arrrrggggghhhh! Only the first paragraph of the first draft of my post was saved!

    I am crushed. Though I can remember most of the story, I can't remember it word for word and it will never be the same. Maybe it will be better, but still, that version, that work is gone forever, lost in limbo somewhere on the internet or within my computer.

    Losing a story is probably like painting a masterpiece only to have the wind come along and knock your painting to the ground where the grass, dirt, twigs and sand smear it and stick to it. It is like baking a cake, mixing the ingredients just right, gently placing it in the oven at the proper temperature, waiting patiently as it cooks, its aroma filling the house with sweetness and making your mouth water in anticipation. Then, when you're not looking, someone comes in and peeks into the oven at the absolute worse time--and the cake falls, ruined. The loss is deflating.

     But, it is a lesson to write my stories in word pad or word first, save them, back them up and then copy them to my post. I have done it, but I don't always do it. I have had no trouble, so I fell into a false sense of security with Blogger. Obviously a big mistake.

     I am busier these days, so I have less time to devote to my stories. Though I love weaving words into tales, I must work other jobs to pay bills until such time as my writing pays my way. The story lost was time lost. I suppose I can consider it practice. Sounds better than a total waste. And, I will rewrite my little tale and share it here on my blog. The next available hours to do so though are an unknown. My hope is that they will make themselves available soon. And, that my inspiration will align with the spare time.
 Until the next post, God bless.

Lori Vidak 7-14-14

Rags, Rules and Riches

Rags, Rules and Riches

Matthew 17:27

Luke 18:18-27

Mark 10:17-22

Matthew  19:16-23

     There once was a shiny sheckel that passed from hand to hand in a seemingly endless cycle of payments for bread, for oinments, for fruit, for services of all kinds, but its hope was to one day be placed in the temple offering to be of service to the Almighty God. The more dirty hands that handle it, the dirtier it would become. Would God accept it if it were no longer shiny? Then one day the sheckel was placed into the clean hands of a rich young boy who placed it in his belt. The little coin was carried home and dropped into a soft bag with other coins and hidden away by the boy, who was called Benjamin. The shekel remained in darkness for days on end. Every so often, the bag was opened and the shekel, along with all the other coins, were poured out onto a table and counted. Then, the shekel and most of the coins would be tossed back into soft darkness and put away for another long perios of time. This cycle went on for what must have been years since the boy Benjamin grew into a young man.
    Then one day, the shekel was one of the coins not returned to the bag. Benjamin placed it in his belt with a handful of other coins. Benjamin left his house, mounted a horse and began a journey. The shekel was excited to be out of the bag and hoped to soon be placed into the temple offering.  It enjoyed the beat of the horse's hooves upon the the road and the rocking motion of the horse's gate. There were greetings of respect from passersby along the way. A few carts could be distinguished among the many sounds, as well as the braying of donkeys and the bleating of sheep and goats. The calls of seagulls were carried on the wind.
     Suddenly several voices cried out for mercy. The horse stopped. Benjamin reached into his belt and removed some of his coins, including the shekel and tossed them towards beggars in rags. The shekel flew through the air, landed hard upon the rocky ground, bounced off the road, down a hill and plopped into a great water. As the shekel sunk towards the sand and muck below, a fish opened its mouth wide and swallowed it. Now, the shekel was in the damp, slimy belly of the creature. His hope for service to God was dashed. How would it ever get out of this darkness?
     For an unmeasurable amount of time, the shekel was carried around inside the fish. It was floated up, dove down, darted this way and that. If it had not been a coin, it would have been seasick. What a fate to be a shekel swallowed by a sea creature and be useless. It could not be used to purchase anything. It could not be saved for a rainy day. And, it could never be placed into the temple offering. But then, there was a jerk. The fish was pulled along, yanked out of the water and the coin was squeezed up into the fishes mouth. Fingers reached inside and removed the coin. The man through the fish back into the water, used his mantel to wipe off the shekel then carried it in the palm of his hand to another man and dropped the coin into that man's hand. "Hear is your temple tax for the Master Yeshua and me."
     The shekel had hoped to be an offering, but to pay the tax of the Master Yeshua sounded important, a good service, and it would end up helping the temple after all. The shekel was blessed indeed.
***
     Benjamin was abhorred by the appearance of the unkempt beggars, clothed in filthy rags not worthy of being called garments. Their sallow faces were pitiful. One of the curses of being rich was the constant attention of these poor beggars. Their presence is an affront to Israel. Why were not these people provided for by the temple tax? That is one of the purposes of the tax. What good does it do to pay tithes and offerings to the temple, when so many people go without help? he thought. He tossed a few coins to them. He did not want to be touched by them. They could have lice or worse. Once the beggars scrambled for the coins, Benjamin continued on his way to Jerusalem.
    Benjamin was intent upon finding the Rabbi Yeshua who was reportedly on his way to Jerusalem. Having recently inherited his father's estate, Benjamin had everything. He was well educated and an excellent businessman in his own right. He was well respected in his community and beyond. He was fair to his servants, took the proper care of his younger siblings and had even set his sights upon a beautiful young maiden named Ruth. She was the jewel of Magdala. Yet, he felt a call to hear Yeshua's teachings, that if all the rumors passing around were true, this man could be the prophesied Messiah. If this rabbi was the Messiah, then Benjamin wanted to know what he must do to be saved from this present lack of leadership, this present age of turmoil. What purpose was there in his wealth and influence in a world dominated by Roman rule and a corrupt priesthood? All his tithes seemed to be wasted and all his efforts at obeying the law seemed meaningless. He was confused by the different teachings of the Pharisees,  and which of the different schools of the Pharisees was right? Hillel or Shammai? Or were the Sadducees correct. He preferred Hillel's teachings but wanted to choose wisely, and surely Yeshua would know.  Benjamin had already dismissed the teachings of the Essenes because they were too radical, living out in the wilderness and preparing for battle with the sons of darkness, and they shared all their possessions.
     As Benjamin passed into Judea beyond the Jordan, he noted the crowds around one particular house. He heard the heated discussions among them, they were about Yeshua's teachings on divorce. It sounded as though he was siding with Shammaites, but Yeshua's miracle healings on the Sabbath, did not correspond to Shammai's teachings. Benjamin tied up his horse and tried to work his way closer to the house. These people would surely recognize his status and let him through. Unfortunately, there were so many poor and uneducated around the perimeter of the house trying to catch every word that Yeshua said that they gave him no notice. Finally, the door to the house opened. Yeshua was coming outside. The crowds gave way to the Rabbi. Benjamin ran over to him, knelt down and asked, "Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" Now, Benjamin knew that most of the Rabbi's preferred to be called good, and he knew that this question would clarify his intent to serve which ever school of thought was correct. If Hillel was right, Benjamin was already on the right path.
   Yeshua answered, "Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. You know the commandments:  Do not kill, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother?
      "All these I have kept from my childhood," Benjamin answered, now fairly certain Yeshua would give him a pat on the back and tell him he was already doing everything needed, according to the school  of Hillel, because the look in the Rabbi's eyes was one of exceeding love--approval.
     "You lack one thing; go, sell what you have, and give to the poor, and you will have treasures in heaven; and come, follow me."
      At that saying, Benjamin's countenance fell, and he went away sorrowful. How could the Rabbi ask him to give up so much? Where is such a thing in the Torah? What would his family think? What would his community think? Yeshua was as radical as the Essenes, maybe more. It was such a shame. There were so many of the Rabbi's teachings that he had heard of which were so freeing. He would love to follow his teachings, but he could not give up everything and physically follow the man. He was always surrounded by the poor, the sick and sinners. A man of his social status, could not associate himself with such as these. He would return home, continue to follow Hillel's teachings, maybe add a few of Yeshua's and hope for the best.

Lori Vidak 6-23-14

Rivka's Quest

     Thousands of us were crowded almost atop each other along the green hillside over looking the blue green waters of Lake Kinneret. The Rabbi Yeshua, the miracle worker, the prophet, was teaching us. He stood on a boat out on the water just off of the shore. There was a hush over the multitude as we listened to his every word. I didn't really understand how we could all hear him so clearly, but his voice was strong and deep; his words seem to ride the wind with a spirit of their own. Most of those near the shore were men, but there were a few women had managed to find there way to the water's edge. I know that it is wrong to envy, but I envied them. Shoshanah, Yochanah, Miryam, Shlomit and Shimon Bar Yonah's wife and mother-in-law were among Rabbi Yeshua's inner circle.  They often followed him in his travels to minister to other towns in the Galil and Y'hudah. My sisters, Devorah and Miryam, and I, Rivkah, were fortunate to have traveled from our village to Capernaum in hopes to hear the Rabbi, for Devorah to be healed of her blindness, for me to find hope. We were pressed in upon each other, and though the day was mild, we were sweating from the extra warmth of so many people. I could feel my brother Yosef's steamy breath upon my neck.
     Poor Yosef, my oldest brother, was responsible for the care of Devorah, his own family of six and now, me and my daughters Dinah and Avigayil. My husband Sha'ul, now no longer my husband, had given me a writ of divorce one year ago and sent me out of our home with my two young daughter's, who stayed behind today with Yoseph's wife Rachel and their children. I had to leave my two sons, Binyamin and Ya'akov with their father. I still can't think of them without tearing up. My arms ache to hug them and my eyes long to see them. I was a faithful wife, a good wife and mother. Sha'ul and I were still passionate and happy, or so I thought.  One day, Sha'ul had returned home early from his trip to Damascus; he was a merchant. I had been collecting eggs from the hens, and he surprised me. I dropped the basket and broke a couple of eggs. It's happened on occasion in the past; they're eggs--a stumble hear or a slip there and they break.  He smiled at me, kissed me, then turned and left. Two hours later he returned with the writ of divorcement. His reason was that I had broken the eggs, which is wasteful, and he no longer wanted a careless, wasteful wife. A month later, I was replaced by his new wife Rut. I sought justice, but I was told that Moses commanded that a man give his wife a writ of divorce and put her away. Why would HaShem have Moses command such a thing? Now here I am to find some answers and maybe some justice from Rabbi Yeshua.
     "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall be shown mercy...." the Rabbi taught.
     His words touched me for I was mourning, still, the loss of my husband, my sons and my life. I did thirst for righteousness and truth, but I had not considered mercy, though my brother had shown it to me.
     "...You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt should lose it's flavor, how shall it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything,except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men.
     "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.....In the same way let your light shine before men so they may see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven..." He continued.
     I had never heard such vivid illustrations, such a call to being a source of light to others. Yeshua's urging of good works was not dogmatic rules to obtain favor, but an expression of love.
     "Do not think I have come to abolish the Torah or the Prophets! I did not come to abolish, but fulfill...For I tell you that unless your righteousness exceeds that of the Pharisees and the Torah scholars, you shall never enter the Kindom of Heaven!" I heard Yeshua speak.
      I don't understand. Sha'ul was a Pharisee! How righteous can the Pharisees and Torah scholars be when they can do such things to their wives and children? How can the Rabbi, who speaks with such wisdom and act with such compassion condone such interpretation of the Torah by them that splits up a family, breaks our hearts and ruins our lives?
     "...You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery. But I tell you that everyone that looks upon a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart...."
    I sat up straighter. Now the Rabbi would clarify this injustice, surely.
     "...It was said, 'Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery..." the Rabbi uttered.
     He does not condone such interpretations! However, it would seem that I was condemned to a life of celibacy, or I would commit adultery and cause anyone who might marry me to commit adultery.  I won't be responsible for bringing any man into such a sin. Am I missing something? Is this not punishment for Sha'ul's actions and not my own?  I was crest fallen, but I knew that Yeshua was different than other Rabbi's and Torah scholars. He spoke truth, and his whole countenance expressed love. I stayed to hear every word.
    He taught of overcoming evil with good; of righteous living; of how to pray--to HaShem as Father! Abba!--to overcome worry with trust in our Abba in Heaven; to not be condemning of others; to judge the fruits of prophets and teachers; to build a firm foundation for life on his teachings and follow them. He taught with such authority.
     After he finished, Rabbi Yeshua began to heal the sick. I, Devorah, Miryam and Yosef stood and pushed our way through the crowd. We helped Devorah reach out to Yeshua. She called to Him. He extended his hand, took hold of hers. When he smiled, she saw it. His light brown eyes were radiant with love and joy. Then, he turned his attention to me. He caressed my cheek and said, "What has the living to do with the dead? Your husband is dead. Your faith has set you free. Be baptized with all of these and do as you have heard me teach this day." Then, he stepped away and was surrounded by a hoard of others who needed his touch.
     I was baptized that day, by Andrew, one of Yeshua's disciples, so were my sisters and brother. We all had much to discuss on our journey home. Sha'ul was a Pharisee, but he was dead in his trespass and sin. His heart was so into the letter of law, that it was dead to the Spirit of God. Sha'ul as my husband was dead. I was free to live my life, and even marry if I were so blessed to be loved again by another man. Yet if such a blessing never happened, I was free; I was loved; I had purpose to be a light to others. Yeshua had opened my understanding to the Spirit of God, the Spirit of the Law. Marriage is a sacred covenant between two people and blessed by God. It is not meant to be broken. But when a man or woman violates that covenant through adultery, idolatry or a hard heart, and will not be reconciled as God wills, then the other mate is free. What has the living to do with the dead?

Lori Vidak 6-12-14

Doubtful Days

     We all have them, those days when doubt has crept into your mind and set up camp. Are my dreams and plans ever going to be fulfilled? Are they even what I should be working towards? Am I aligned with God's will for my life? Why am I being bombarded with trial after trial? Are you angry with me God? How will I ever get out of this mess? What do You want me to do? Get another job? Go back to school? End my marriage and send my spouse packing to lesson my troubles? Or will that only cause more? Only yesterday I was so sure that I knew the path to take. Only yesterday, I felt Your assurance, in spite of the difficulties. Suddenly, I'm stuck in the sludge and trudging through this day under a dark cloud.
    God whispers that I am on the right path, but I look over the edge at the dizzying heights, the rocks below, the storm clouds on the horizon, and other people who are following different paths. I can't see what's around the bend, and the climb is steep. There are fallen logs on the path. All these obstacles seem daunting. I want to sit down. I want to turn back. I look behind me, and I seem to be alone. Down the mountain, the bridge that I crossed to get this far has been burned. I can't go back. I seem to be between a rock and a hard place. In order to get to the paths that others are on, I would have to make it across that burned bridge, or go off the path and climb through the forest to find a different path, or continue in along the path I'm on, climb over the logs, and up the hill and beyond where I can see.
     "Trust Me," the Lord whispers. I keep going. I know where I've been, and I really don't want to go back. I look up at the cloud that looms over me. I tell myself it's just a cloud. The sun will shine again, then the way won't seem so ominous. I will get to the top, then I will be able to walk down hill for awhile. Maybe their will be a place for me to sit and enjoy the view before I head down. There is always the possibility that God will tell me to take another path, but there is no other path for now. I keep walking.

Lori Vidak 6-2-14

Walking Meela

     Have you ever gone through a spell in life where you couldn't sleep all through the night? You get up to hit the john, but when you return to bed, instead of drifting back to sleep, your brain starts squirming and won't shut up no matter what you tell it. Well, I've been experiencing this annoying phenomenon a bit too often the past few weeks; and it's happened in the past for months. Now, I have learned to accept these nights or early mornings as promptings from the Lord to stop fighting my thoughts and listen to them. They are His inspirations, usually. Once in awhile these moments are just my enabling self trying to find a solution to a problem that I have no control over and that God hasn't given me responsibility to fix. In those times, I have to get down on my knees or sit out on the porch in the dark and talk to Him.

     Sunday morning, Memorial Day Weekend, I was up at 6:30am. I go to worship at Beth Sar Shalom on Saturdays, so some Sundays, including this one, I try to sleep in until 9:00am with the intent on staying home with no particular plans. Anyway, I rolled out of bed, grabbed my bible, went out on the porch and began to continue my studies through Acts and Romans, which also led me to James. To sum up what I read: the Old Covenant ( the Law of Moses) was established until fulfilled by Yeshua the Messiah's atoning work through his death on the cross and resurrection from the dead. Yeshua established the New Covenant: Salvation by grace through faith in His atoning work. The Old was a covenant of works; the New a Covenant of grace. However, James says salvation without works is dead; there must be faith and works. This confuses many and becomes a seed of division in the Body of Messiah. But it shouldn't, because what God revealed to me is that the works to which James refers have nothing to do with the Law of Moses, but of love and compassion driven works of good deeds in service to others. I did wonder about the Sabbath, though, and looked up several verses in the Old and New Testament about the Sabbath. That will be another blog post.

     It so happened that my son Jacob was on vacation in Las Vegas, so I was pup sitting his dog Meela. She's a sweet four month old blue pit bull pup. At thirty pounds she's almost as big as my late Border Collie Dollie was full grown. Meela loves to cuddle and thinks she's a lap dog. She loves to crawl all over me, lick and slobber. I love it! I have missed going on walks with Dollie, so having Meela as my walking buddy was nice. Later that Sunday morning, I took Meela for a walk around the lakes.
    With Dollie, I seldom had to use a leash. She knew the rules, and if she began to forget, she was trained to obey my voice commands. I have worked with Meela on establishing boundaries in the yard, away from the street, using voice commands, but every now and then she will look at me and test those boundaries.Thus, I have to keep her on a leash.  Inexperienced on the leash, full of puppy energy and lacking in street smarts, Meela was tugging at the leash enough to choke herself a couple of times. She wasn't too bad at it, but she definitely needs more training.
    This experience with Meela inspired the following analogy of the Law of Moses and the Law of God or Yeshua--the Old Covenant and the New Covenant. The Torah (Law of Moses) was a short leash to keep untrained, inexperienced or unruly dogs restrained and at the Master's heel. As the dog responds to his training and becomes more experienced on the leash, he is given a longer lead. As the dog learns to listen to His Master's voice and obey His commands, the dog is released from the leash and given more freedom as long as the pup continues to respond to his Master's voice. The New Testament is the Master's voice--and we hear it when we listen to the Holy Spirit within us.
    Some dogs always have trouble with obedience when out for a walk because they are easily distracted by all the noises, smells, and activity in the world around them. They don't keep a trained ear listening for the voice of the Master.
     Other dogs learn to obey and love the Master. Their love and devotion keeps them listening and watching ready to do the Master's will. They no longer need the constraints of the leash. They go and explore, run about, but immediately act obediently when the Master calls out His instructions.
    Unruly dogs that never bond well with the Master, always have to be restrained by a leash for their own safety. Without a leash, they run into traffic, dig in the garbage, fight with other dogs, sometimes bite people. If they won't stay on the leash, these poor dogs end up at the pound or dead.
   Then, there are those obedient dogs who prefer the leash. When the Master gives them freedom, they act confused, hesitant and uncomfortable, until they are once again on the tether. They never experience the joy of running free and pleasing the Master in their freedom.
     So like dogs we have a choice, the leash or the freedom to obey His voice without it.

Lori Vidak
5-29-14
   

Walking by Faith, Keep it Simple

     My previous post about walking by faith was a simple analogy taken from the Psalms comparing the walk of faith to walking in darkness by the light of a lamp. Some perhaps thought it too generalized. The more I ponder walking by faith, and not by sight, the deeper my understanding that it is simple. Simple is not always easy.
     The Father has given us Salvation in Yeshua the Messiah. Yeshua sent the Holy Spirit as a counselor and comforter for us. We have been given the scriptures as tutor and guidebook. Prayer is our open line of communication with God. We have a family of fellow believers for encouragement, support and accountability. We don't have to over complicate our lives with legalistic observances or overwork ourselves to prove our worthiness. We are loved. We are saved. Everything else we do is motivated by love for God, for each other and for our enemy. Anything we are called to do, God will provide the means, the strength and the know how.
    Jesus said that we are to come to Him as little children. This could be an entire blog post of its own, but for now, I use it to show that being a child is simple. The child receives food, shelter, clothing, love, teaching, chores and discipline because the good parent wants to provide these thing. God is Good. He is our Father. Let's rest in this.
    When I don't feel the perfect peace of Yeshua, then I know that I am trying to take control of my life out of His capable hands, instead of simply asking what am I to do, listening for a reply and if I don't get one, just relax and trust Him. This is simple, but it is hard to do. It is our nature to think we must do something! We must control! We must figure it all out! Yeshua says we don't. We just have to trust Him.
     Well, I can't just sit here and do nothing! If that's what He wants me to do, then I better do it. If He wants me to do something, He'll reveal to me what that is. I have had to learn to seek His counsel and will in all things, and stop trying to tell Him how to do things. That's the secret to walking by faith. I have to resist the urge to take control of the steering wheel. It's a much more enjoyable ride if I let Him do all the driving.

Lori Vidak
5-17-14

Walking by Faith

     Walking by faith is much like Psalm 119:105--Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. Through the scriptures and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I am given enough light to keep my feet from stumbling along the path as I travel through the darkness of this world. My faith in Yeshua is the light unto my path. He is is the light and the life. If I focus on the path that He has illumined for me, then I am not afraid. His light that shines through me now is only a sample of the brighter light of eternity to come, in which I maintain my hope. Yet, the light that I carry with me now is only bright enough to get me where I need to go, and point others I meet along the way, who have no light, in the right direction.
     It is a blessing to see only what the Lord wants me to see. How many demons have shadowed my path? How many evil intentions were thwarted by Him of which I was unaware? When I worry about what could be out there, what might happen, I take my focus off the path and off of Him, for He is the path as well as the light. Then, I might stumble, or wander off the path toward the dangers in the darkness. When I am faced with trials in my path, I must remember that I am not alone on the path, for He is with me and will help me through.
     I may hear frightening sounds in the bushes, behind the trees, up ahead or behind me. I may see dark shadowy figures in the darkness, or feel the steamy hot breath of some fearsome beast, and then I must keep a firm grip on the light, and seek my brothers and sisters who also carry lamps. Together our lamps grow brighter and chase away the creatures who fear the light. I think this is why we are encouraged as believers to not forsake gathering together. We encourage one another and the Lord's light shines brighter, giving us islands of brilliant sunshine in the midst of a turbulent sea of darkness.

Lori Vidak
5-16-14

God's Not Dead Review

     I know this movie has been out for bit, but I don't go to the movie theater very often. I utilize the library and Redbox. However, I still enjoy going to the theater when the opportunity presents itself, as it did yesterday for Mother's Day. My son Jake, gave me two tickets to a Cinemark Theater, so I took my Mom, who would never get to go unless I take her. She wanted to see God's Not Dead, and I so did I, so that's what we saw.
     The movie was enjoyable, thought provoking, uplifting, exasperating and moving. I have seen some negative reviews, and I can see where some critics that are addicted to special effects, murder and mayhem, adulteress affairs and other such carnally appealing plots might not like this film. Sadly, many Christians might not appreciate it either. Anytime that main characters live according to their faith, in all aspects of their lives, those who don't are hard pressed to relate. Christians should be strangers in a strange land. We should be like aliens living away from home, or like alien ambassadors. But, I hope that those who took the chance and watched the God's Not Dead, for good or for bad, were given a glimpse of two very different worlds that are shared in time and space. A world where God is the source and guide for His people, and a world where people are a guide unto themselves.
     I found the ending both disturbing and hopeful. This is the point. For believers, life is filled with trials, tribulation, persecutions, tragedies, etc. of which we have no control, no one on this earth does, and yet in our faith in the saving work of Yeshua, (Jesus), and the teachings found within the bible, God works to bring us understanding, acceptance, hope, peace and love, in spite of the worst--while at the same to god works out all things to His Glory and for the good of those who trust Him. I don't have to understand the way everything works to trust God, anymore than I have to understand everything about how a car is designed in order to drive it. I just need to know the basics and the rules of the road for safety and I am ready. This life is not the end of all things. And in this light, true believers live for an eternal future, not just the here and now.
    I hope that many more people will see this movie when it comes out at the dollar movie and at Redbox. I hope that it stirs up conversations. I hope that some atheists, agnostics and peoples of other religions are encouraged to search for God and find salvation in Yeshua the Messiah, (Jesus the Christ.) The rest, at least, understand that for people like me, sharing my testimony of faith with you is an act of love, because from my perspective, I'm sharing love, peace, joy, hope and eternal life--you have the free will to decide for yourself. And, I'll still love you.

Lori Vidak
5-12-14

Is the Holy Spirit Impotent?

     As a believer and follower of Yeshua the Messiah, I have been given the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, as has every true believer, but I have never spoken in tongues, fell down laughing or trembling, or healed someone with the touch of my hand. Why not? I hear His voice, feel His tugging at my conscience, and His overwhelming comfort during times of trouble and pain. I'm supposed to receive gifts from the Holy Spirit? Has He forgotten me or does He no longer have the power to work miracles and express Himself through the lives of believers? That would make Him impotent? This can't be!

    In 1 Corinthians 12 the apostle Paul writes to the Corinthian believers concerning the gifts of the Holy Spirit. In Chapter 13 he describes the more excellent way. 1Corinthian 13 is the love chapter. Paul explains that the Holy Spirit gives gifts to each and every believer such as tongues,interpretation of tongues, prophecy, healing, miracles and discernment. These are by no means the only gifts, only a sampling. From what I read, and what the Holy Spirit reveals to my understanding is that all these gifts are given by the Holy Spirit as He wills. Along with these gifts come a calling or responsibility to which the gifts are suited. The Power of these gifts is in the Body of Messiah, the Church. We are all members of His body, as a body, are individual gifts fulfill the will of the Father, through the direction of the Holy Spirit in the name of Yeshua. But, these gifts are impotent--without love. They are merely self serving displays of tricks and wonders that make no real impact upon people or the world, maybe an individual or two through the faith of the recipient and the grace of God.
     Paul encourages believers, that includes me, to desire the greater gifts of prophecy, healing, tongues, but appreciate the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness and self-control. Always be active in love to share these gifts, but even more importantly to share the message of the Gospel which is the reason we have been saved, that we have been born into new life, are a part of the Kingdom of God and have received these gifts. If I feel that I am weak, it is because I am. If I act alone, I am impotent, not the Spirit. When I am a part of the body, when I am acting as a part of the whole, doing the tasks that have been assigned to me, then I see miracles, whether as a witness or the vessel used to make the miracle. My faith and love adds to the power of the whole body. The faith and love of my brothers and sisters in the faith add to me.
   To wrap up my pondering, I conclude that the apparent impotence of the Holy Spirit is the result of the society in which I live. We are detached from one another. We work at computers, in cubicles, at desks facing away from our fellow man. We communicate via internet or text on a phone. We play computer games that allow us to interact with others without ever meeting them face to face. We spend hours in front of the television, but only a few hours a week assembled together at Church--and usually we are reading the bible on our electronic devices, listening to the pastor, or studying the scriptures, but we don't spend enough time hugging each other, listening to each other, praying with our hands touching one another. We have lost our love. How can we truly love, or show our love, if we aren't physically, mentally and emotionally involved with each other, involved in life? To see the fruits of the Spirit, to find and express my gifts, I must be a part of the family. I must seek this involvement. I'm not saying these devices are bad, that we can't reach out through them and keep in touch through them, but this is not enough. And spending time with the Church does not mean inside the building. It means spending time with my family, my friends, and also my Lord--where two or more are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

The Grafting of a Wild Branch

  I am a believer and disciple of the Lord Yeshua, the only begotten son and anointed of God. Though I have traced possible Jewish roots in my genealogy, I am a Gentile. This means that I am not a Jew. I was raised in a God-fearing home where we tried to follow the Ten Commandments. Our Sabbath was Sunday, but  in my early childhood we did not attend Church. My father and mother read us kids bible stories and sang simple songs about Jesus. Before special meals, we gave thanks to God and at bedtime we said a simple prayer.

     After moving to the small farm town of Creighton, Missouri, we did find a Church, a true family of believers that walked by faith in love and service to God and their fellows, a very hospitable group. My dad, mom, brother and I were baptized in the quarry, the closest swim hole open to the public with water clean enough for emersion. Everyday life was work, play, education, some entertainment—our local rodeo, ice cream socials, caroling in the winter, hayrides, and riding horses— and gatherings of both the Church Family and the community (most were Christians of only a few different protestant denominations) as a whole.  We worshiped God in gospel songs and listened to the Pastor preach his sermon, and then went to Sunday school. There was bible school during the summer. Every kid in town went to at least one of the four offered, many all.  How simple was my life and faith back then. My limited knowledge of Jews was what I read in the bible and in a book called Pia Goes to the Holy Land, also from the movie Fiddler on the Roof, but I knew that I loved them. They were God’s Chosen people. Chosen for what I did not understand.

     In my teens, we moved to Texas, living with my grammie. The church we attended had the same name, but was far different in spirit. I felt pretty out of place. Home life was uncomfortable, six people (my baby sister had joined the family) in a three room shack. My high school didn’t have much to offer after my junior year, so I graduated early and took off across the country to Utah (a great time, but a spiritual tangent) and California where I met my husband Tony, a Jew. My education about all things Jewish began.

     Tony, our daughter Sabra, and I moved to Texas, after which my son Jacob was born. My children and I attended Church because it was what I knew, and I believe in Jesus (nothing will change my faith in Him.) Hopefully, the kids would follow Him, but I wanted the them to learn of their Jewish roots. So, I studied books on Judaism and took a couple classes in Hebrew at the Jewish Community Center. It was there that I met some Jewish followers of Yeshua (Jesus’ Hebrew name) the Messiah and was invited to their Sabbath services. This led to further studies and a spiritual journey that has deepened my understanding and strengthened my love for the Lord. Who would think there would be any danger in these studies? There is. Legalistic observance of the Torah is seductive. I have witnessed the split of a few Messianic congregations over Torah observance.

     How can we observe the Torah—the Old Covenant, when we were given a new one? Did the New Covenant replace the old? If Gentiles are the wild olive branch that has been grafted in to the cultivated tree spoken of in the New Testament are we to follow Torah and believe in Messiah? Yeshua told us that he did not come to do away with the Torah (Law), but to fulfill it. He admonished us to obey His commandments, but according to whose interpretation? The Ultra Orthodox, the orthodox, the conservative Jews. Do we seek to follow our Lord, or to be Jewish? I have sought, through prayer, clarification from the Holy Spirit.

     In the wee hours of the morning, this question came to me: What does the cultivated tree represent— the Jewish people, the Torah, or Messiah?  (Read Romans 11:11-24) Here is what I perceived:

     The tree is the seed of Abraham, the promised Messiah, who was cultivated through the Torah to fulfill the Torah, and the wild branch is the offspring of Abraham by faith in the seed of Abraham. We are not grafted in to be “Jewish.” We are grafted in as offspring of Abraham to be children of faith in the promised Messiah, who came first to the Jews, but offered salvation to all who believe in His death on the cross to pay for sin, and also His resurrection from the dead to give new life, to be filled with the Holy Spirit and become children of God—even the Gentiles. The Torah was put to death on the cross. Yeshua’s commandments are fulfilled when we trust in Him, love God with all we are, and love one another as He loved us, even unto death.

     This is how my family and community lived in Creighton. It wasn’t overly complicated. We spent time with God, studied his word to keep us on track, spent time with family, church family, community, sharing, being helpful in whatever way that we could—especially to those in need. We enjoyed the wonders of God’s Creation and were thankful for our great blessings. Even in hard times, we had peace, joy and hope because there was love, the kind only God can bestow through the indwelling of His Spirit.